*This ended up being really long! Apparently, I had a lot to talk about!*
Like everyone trying to function in our new normal has been a really challenging experience. I find talking about what has been bouncing back and forth in my head helps me so I thought why not make a little life update and let all of you know how it’s going in my life right now. The general way I am feeling is really isolated and alone so I would love to chat with everyone!
I’m still working my same job since I work at a retail pharmacy most of my routine there is very similar. The only change we had corporate wise is our store hours instead of being open 8 am to 10 pm we are now open 9 to 9. As employees, we are still coming any at the same time so anywhere from 7:30 am to 10 pm and we just use that time to get ahead on or work as well as cleaning everything. As a store, we are taking COVID 19 very seriously and are constantly cleaning. We have a high area of cases and they are staying pretty steady so we are being very safe as much as we can be. Masks have been mandated by our corporate office for about a month now but we’ve been wearing or own for a lot longer.
We’ve also recently received plexiglass shields that are really unstable and hastily made. I work for a large pharmacy chain one of the biggest in the USA and honestly I’ve been really disappointed by how they are handling COVID 19 since they aren’t really doing much of anything to help their staff. My company did make an effort to help customers by making it easier to get meds mailed to them as well as the opportunity to purchase more items through drive-thru but with adding more responsibilities to the pharmacy instead of getting more help or hours we got our hours cut instead which is really stressful and making the days a lot harder than what they should be.
Honestly, I have been thinking about leaving my job for a while now but I knew that I didn’t want to work in another retail job so I felt a little stuck. Working as a Pharmacy Tech can be a really good paying job and I make a really good check at my current job so I’ve been putting off actively looking for jobs. I don’t have an education besides my CPHT certification so I know that pharmacy is my best bet right now. I’ve had a couple places on my radar for a while now but I recently applied to a mail-order facility in the next town over and I have an interview on Monday! My friend and coworker starts there on Monday and said the interview was really easy so I’m hoping that I have a good one as well. There are a lot of perks to the job like a consistent schedule which I don’t currently have, paid insurance, and no weekends! It could be a total game-changer for me!
Besides, my current job I’ve been also looking at what I would like to do in the future. I really like pharmacy but I don’t think it is something I want to do forever so I’ve been looking at other career opportunities. I feel like I am always drawn to the tech field so I’ve been learning how to code. I love the act of coding and creating something from nothing and so far I have been having a blast. I love to feel challenged and I don’t really get that with my current job. I love that working to be a developer or a software engineer isn’t necessarily a college only career path. With the way, money is and my schedule at my current job I can’t really fit in college courses so I love that I can learn on my own and have just as much of a chance at a job as someone who went to school for computer science.
My reading and blogging life have really been struggling lately. At the beginning of quarantine I was really in the reading groove last month I managed to read over 40 books and so far this month I feel like I can barely finish anything. I think this is a product of my anxiety and depression which has been flaring lately. Normally, reading is my go-to for stress relief but I have had a really hard time focusing on anything for a long time. I think that is one of the reasons I really like coding right now since I can do little bursts and see immediate progress.
Last month I decided to bump my Goodreads reading challenge to 366 books which is a lot of books let’s be real but with my reading last month I really think it could be possible, however, I’m currently sitting at 20 books behind and every day I don’t finish a book the number goes up by one! I actually took a moment to check my kindle, which has been my main reading source, and I am over 25% through 12 books that I’ve been reading this month so I feel like catching up is still very possible and I’m very challenge-driven so I know I can catch up. I’ve also been wanting to binge read some comics so that could help a lot.
I know I am always apologizing for not blogging frequently even though when I do blog I love it. I’ve noticed that I love to blog when I am in a certain mood and that’s not something I am feeling a lot right now. The motivation to sit down and word vomit a draft is really hard especially when I could just as easily veg out in front of the T.V. I think not having a routine or a daily goal in mind for my blog is a huge factor in my lag of posts. Most days when I sit down to blog something it’s because I randomly remember that I haven’t posted anything in a while and quickly write up a post so my blog doesn’t sit empty for weeks on end.
I’ve been reading up on other people’s blogs on how they manage to keep up with their blog and I’m trying to implement that for myself and adapt that to work for me. I’ve been doing little things for the last week or so mostly blog maintenance like updating lists and tags but I’m really hoping to work on a whole bunch of posts so I have some backlog for the lows while my mood is running stable.
A common theme in all of the paragraphs above has been my mood. I’ve been battling depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and it feels like I am always going from high to low lately. My nerves have been really shot and my coping mechanisms haven’t been working as well as they normally do so I’ve been trying to implement new ones and seeing what is working for me right now. I also actually gave myself a day of rest where I did nothing yesterday on my day off. I couldn’t tell you the last time I gave myself a day to not do anything but just be and relax. I think I really needed it to clear my head and let me think clearing for the first time in weeks. Self Care is so important especially during the situation that we are in and I wasn’t taking care of myself and everything was suffering because of that. Just one day of nothing has helped me so much so I think I’m going to implement that more in the future.
So, this was a really long-winded way to say that Covid-19 is kicking my ass! Life has been intense lately and I need to manage everything a little bit better. So how is life treating you? I would love to catch up with you guys!